one hour before the critique, and I'm having an anxiety attack - so many old structures and thoughts are making feel totally unprepared and really critical of who I am and what I'm doing.
Is the house clean enough?
Why didn't I buy that scented oil for the hallway - will guests smell the trash from the basement?
Will they notice the walls are scuffed?
Is anyone going to notice the floors aren't oiled?
I forgot to buy soap for the bathroom
I only have bagels and coffee for people to eat - will it be enough?
Is anyone going to "get" our video?
I am doubting my collaboration communication - am I making something out of nothing?
Why am I not more prepared?
Why can't I ask for help?
Why do I tend to carry the burden of organizing too much?
Why don't I trust more people more often?
I hate not having enough money to finish our home - I don't need another project.
I hate not having my bookshelves in order - I feel so scattered
I don't even have proper viewing capacity - everyone might hate it
Will I run out of coffee?
Do I have enough chairs?
Why is my collab partner late?
Why do I always feel I'm the one doing everything?
Why don't I appreciate what I have, and what I have accomplished?