Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Re: Hello Stranger

On Nov 17, 2015, at 7:57 AM
I think our dialogue is relevant, (in how strangers can interact perhaps differently from the known.) So I posted the last few entries on the blog. I hope you don't mind. I've been thinking about making the dialogue public. Is that alright with you?

(I knew that was a lyric.) 

Yes, of course it's all right!  I was wondering when you were going to start doing that.

I'm glad that you're ok.  I'm doing pretty well.  I'm kind of glad that my laptop is dead & I won't be able to use it until Thursday.  While I was having my breakfast this morning, instead of sitting on the couch with the laptop, I sat at the dining room table and watched the birds at the two feeders.  I set them up for my mom & dad, who are avid birdwatchers--but I've really gotten into watching them too!  They're so fascinating.  I saw three woodpeckers and three blue jays (along with the usual chickadee gang).  It's cool 'cause both bird feeders are close to the window, so you can really see all of the details, the color of their feathers, etc.  There are squirrels too (instead of trying to keep them away, I thought we should just set one feeder lower down, for both them and the bigger birds).  It was a really nice way to start the day.  Much better than reading depressing news and going on Facebook.

Love, in the sense you're talking about, is the answer.  It's the only way.  But it seems that very few people know that, and live their lives accordingly.  I've been thinking a lot about this land my family has, and how I/we could use it in a way that's much more in line with my values.  I would love to gradually turn it into a farm/art colony, a place that is self-sustaining as much as possible, and one that can feed people in many different ways.  It's exciting to think about all of the possibilities!  It would take a lot of work, time, and money of course, but it would be worth it.  I'm really getting tired of giving my time to other people, in exchange for a relative pittance.  And the thought of living in an artists colony, and raising vegetables and animals, makes me happy!

I hope you're having a nice morning.

On Nov 18, 2015, morning

It's interesting what one spends his time on. Really we only have one day. Just today to spend our attention on something. How do we want to spend it? Watching the morning birds sounds like a great start. Both of the kids are bird lovers, both find them fascinating. (Al announced she wanted to be an ornithologist in preschool. I had to look up the word!) We have a bird feeder in the back but I want to get on the roof to mount one next to the kitchen window. It would provide hours of entertainment and enrichment to all our lives. Do they need to have the feeder there for a while in order to form a new habit to fly to that spot, instead of in the back of the house, I wonder? 

(I'm weaning myself off of FB except for interesting articles/videos.) However just yesterday I heard Imagine on the Piano at the sight of the attacks in Paris through fb. The same response happened in New York. Performers and singers were the first to voice their grief. Sound was the first artform, platform. I wonder what that sound does, the reverberation

  1. 1.
    prolongation of a sound; resonance.
    "electronic effects have been added, such as echo and reverberation"
    synonyms:resonanceecho, echoing, re-echoing, resoundingringingbooming,rumbling More
  2. 2.
    a continuing effect; a repercussion.
    "the attack has had reverberations around the world"

and what that effect that has in the same space as the previous sound was made. 

I just watched the original video for Imagine. What a strange video! Yoko and John walking up to this mansion with Greek pillars, black silhouettes against white morning light. Then a flash of "There is not here". There are busts by the doorway as John and Yoko vanish through the doors. Then Yoko opens the windows letting light in. I wonder about that phrase "Imagine no possessions," and they sit in this lavish space. I wonder how Yoko embodies the song as she sits next to John on the piano. I wonder how much of the song was produced, written, imagined through their relationship. 

If we were to live our lives according to that love, what would it look like? Lets describe it in detail. I have to stop the notion that my physicality stops at my skin (I'm thinking of it as outside in where "I" am somewhere on the 'in' place. That's already wrong cause I'm not just in this 'in' place although that is where I feel myself. How absurd! So first I have to extend. I am not only in this in place but I expand as far as I can. Then I encounter another with his idea of self. I can't embody him. But I can listen. Listen to his body language, his constructs, but I pay attention to the subtleties, the unspoken gestures. I try not to interact with just the surface. (What's on the surface often repels one as people are layered with their walls and to break through them takes some effort.) I try to interact with something other than the "I". I try to look for what else is there?

Everyone has that other layer, the blood, the veins, the muscles, then the bones, the core. Krishnamurti says that that idea is wrong too, I think. The way I understand him is that he goes the other way, not into the body but out of it. He understands the infinite self. 

When I watch the video again, I notice where the two sit side-by-side at the piano and the words although they come out of John's mouth are very well understood by Yoko especially in the part where he sings," And the world will live as one." (She nods or smiles slightly. Her understanding is clear.) There are also birds chirping in the end. Nice way to come full circle.  

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Hello Stranger

If today was your last day (or if we can start understanding that there is no time,) how would you live your life? Would you do anything differently? Would you see that person across from you differently? We take each other for granted, don't we on an everyday basis. I know I take my family for granted more than I should. It's hard to see my daughter's face and think about the world she has to face as she grows. And in that vein, all I can do with my son is hold and kiss him. (He's such a genuine sunshine!) 

I'm ok. But I want to build a cob house, today! Live and work out of the city. Surround myself with greenery. Become more involved in 'nature' and learn from her cycles than our man-made dramas. (We spin our wheels in our ego-centered conquests.) In our power/powerlessness duality. If I focus on the sunset, the beach, the bird, or a face, than all is ok. When I look at the media, the shit we do, then I'm paralyzed. 

Is it possible to stop (shitting)? Is it possible to evolve from hate? No other animal intentionally goes and bombs another. They may eat one another, but they do not eat the whole tribe due to another philosophy or a different way of life. Why do we?

The most I can do in my day is love (love in the sense to recognize that the person next to me has the same or similar desires, wants and needs. And they have the same vulnerability in existence. I can have empathy for that fragility. 

I'll live differently today, with the above in mind. Thanks!

How are you?

Yeah, endless war doesn't work, obviously.  It's just created an even bigger problem.  Fourteen years (14!!) in Afghanistan, and for what?  (Not to mention the travesty of Iraq)... It's crazy.  There are other, better solutions that don't involve killing.  Yes, money/capitalism is a big part of it, for sure.

Somehow, I managed to leave my laptop cord in the studio yesterday.  It's weird, I never do that.  So, my battery is rapidly diminishing... But I wanted to write back to you, at least a few lines!  Sometimes I just want to ask you how you are.  It seems like we never do that.  So, how are you?  (is it somehow too risky to do that?  Are we really supposed to stick to art etc. alone?  What are the rules?  Are there any?  Unspoken ones, I guess).  

I've been listening to this song a lot lately.  I love Shelby Lynn's voice (althoughI haven't listened to anything else by her).  And Peter Wolf is, well, semi-legendary, I guess.

Sent: Monday, November 16, 2015 11:14 AM
Subject: RE: more of this

'Cleaning up the neighborhood' - These are the words describing what to do with Extremist militants of a street in Brussles. How ironic to think about how we orchestrate a 'cleansing'. (In terms of ethnic cleansing) Police are carrying out raids. What does that mean? Is it any different from NAZI's invading Jewish homes in WWII? What is the difference? An arm for an arm, a tooth for a tooth. Where does this mentality take us? When will we see the whole person, their pain, similar to ours, just seen from another light. Can we bridge difference? Or at least can we coexist?

I think when money takes precedence over people, the system is flawed. (And it has done that for 6000 or more years when we first seeded that we can subjugate others for our own gain.) They were talking this morning on NPR about what drives Afghan men/boys into the military and to join ISIS and tying that to their salary and being able to provide for their families as ISIS pays a monthly wage. 

On mornings like these (and perhaps because I am teaching in the middle of construction,) it's hard to see beauty through cries for war. I take some solace in the image of Eiffel tower as the peace sign.

Date: Sat, 14 Nov 2015 03:17:26 +0000
Subject: Re: more of this

Of course!  You should be Bowie, and I should be Cher.  Brilliant.  I hadn't thought of that.

Y'know, I didn't even think of Hello Stranger as the title of that piece (whatever it is)--I was really just saying hello to you, using that song title. But it's such a good title!--for the sculpture, for a performance, for any number of things.  The guy in the suit (me, him, you, whoever) is the Stranger--echoes of Camus & existentialism, of course, but also a stranger in the sense of being estranged, being disconnected from the real, from lived life.  (Then there's simply the idea of the strange, weird things, and then the way things can get stranger the more you look and think about them.  Words start to look strange when they're repeated.  strange strange strange stranger stranger stranger... I feel a sense of estrangement sometimes, but I think those poor guys in their suits have it much worse than I do.  We kind of hate them, don't we, but is it possible to have compassion for them?  When I feel hatred or disgust for someone, or I hear those feelings being voiced by someone else, I sometimes think of Gandhi or MLK and wonder, what is a loving response to this person (or people, situation, etc.)? ... It's not easy to come up with one, usually.  Especially tonight, when I read about people being executed with AK-47s and bombs going off.  So unbelievably sad, for everyone, for the world.  Horrible.  The larger geopolitical picture is much more complicated, and the U.S. is implicated in so much of it, of course.  But right now, it's just hard to feel anything but sadness about it.

I didn't really mean to go off on that tangent, but obviously it's on my mind at the moment.

The other evening, when I was at the studio, I was thinking about these two rooms that I spend a fair amount of time in.  One room is at my job, where we "overwinter" all of these plants from various buildings on the property.  Some of the plants are pretty large.  There are elephant ears, peace lilies, things like that.  The room is full of them, so part of my job is to take care of them (yes, I talk to them sometimes, don't tell anyone!), and sometimes I have to paint signs & other things in this room, so often I sit and work in the middle of all these plants.  It's really nice to be surrounded by green--I think it has a good psychological effect, and of course there's lots of oxygen!  So then the other room is my studio, which is very different--no plants, no green stuff, some color but not much, a lot of muted shades of brown and gray.  Where am I going with this?  I'm not sure... There's something I like about both places--I can feel comfortable and contented in both (of course, it's nicer to be in the studio than at work!)... I guess I was thinking about how separate they are (estranged?) and how different, the whole art/life/no separation theme, as you put it.  Work on the one hand, and play on the other (which is work also!).  Maybe it's also the feeling I have of needing/wanting both the green of the country and the gray of the city.  I feel as though I'm slowly discovering some sort of theme here, like a gradual realization about something.  Maybe part of my practice will be to bridge that urban/rural divide (if there is one).  When I saw my friend Mike the other day, I mentioned that I wanted to talk to him at some point about building a studio, and he was really into the idea, he said he'd help me (he does carpentry and other related things for work).  So I'm starting to get excited about that--I really hope we can do that next year.

Thanks for the links--looking forward to the Kentridge, especially.

Sent: Friday, November 13, 2015 12 AM
Subject: No more of this!

Sent: Friday, November 13, 2015 7:49 AM
Subject: RE: more of this

You know as soon as I saw your Hello Stranger sculpture I thought about that song coming from somewhere within it. That connection to music is very clear. But the performative element is even more appealing. You, because you embody the male form in your current Earthy condition, can have great fun playing in a business suit. (A video of you in suit working in the studio.) That alone changes things. This morning we were talking about the absurd presence of the suits walking around the city. They have an air of superiority, but it's almost always masking something which is clear to me. I feel sad for these men. That is their way of relating to the world. How sad that they see their existence in a similar way day in and day out. To play within that absurdity would be phenomenal. 

That's another reason I like Kentridge so much. He points to the absurdity of his own thoughts while he arts, performs, plays often alongside a music track. He's very clear about valuing the play and equating that to the work. (I'm sure this whole lecture is great but a little before 16:59 he explains how to understand the world not as a fact but in a state of 'provisionality', in continuous development. He also talks about sound and how we construct it either being absorbed or removed.) Juicy stuff! And you must watch it until at least 20:52, listing the thoughts in his head while he draws. The absurdity to having to "buy whisky the next day." 

I also like how he wears the same white pressed shirt with black slacks everywhere he goes. 

You have the potential to swing in multiple directions it seems and that is refreshing. First it is the play in the studio with everyday material: (the throwing up all the pieces and seeing where they land.) And through the writing of the past months now, along with the humor, there is an honest reflection on who one is. 

I just thought about wanting you to read some of these passages or sing a song or something at my funeral, although I don't want a funeral. I want that wooden boat with sticks, a flame on water thing. But a nice song or a reading would be nice there too. It should be a celebration of the person and their life's work. (Maybe all the timber is my artwork! That sounds good too: burn it so there is more room for other's to create!)

Maybe every time there is a corpse we should burn the house and it's contents. (Let them go and build our own so we don't inherit each other's problems. Also it may be a good way to fertilize the soil underneath.)

Ani made me a Birthing CD, I'm hoping to make her a Dying CD. (I want to collaborate with Beth on this, but haven't put the file in the mail yet.)

On another note, in that image of David Bowie and Cher, can I be David and can you be Cher? I also thought about the Marina Abramovic and Ulay and their hair tied together for 17 hours. Although I don't like looking at her work often, Rhythm O "I am free" performance was catastrophic but in the same vein so powerful in how the public objectified her in her 'puppet' state and as soon as the performance was over and she was herself, everyone had to run away for fear of confronting the human being they had taken advantage of.

Be well.

Date: Thu, 12 Nov 2015 22:56:45 +0000
Subject: more of this

Well, the funeral yesterday was pretty dreary, as funerals go.  I alternated between waves of disgust, anger, and sadness.  As I mentioned previously, it was in a Catholic church, so that was the main problem.  And there was this woman playing the organ and singing throughout the service, and as my mom remarked afterwards, she sounded so tacky.  (and my mom isn't one to make pronouncements such as that very often). There was hardly anything about Claudette, Mikes' mom--who she was, what made her happy, nothing like that.  But at least I got to talk to Mike at the reception afterwards.  He really wants me to come over to their house and jam sometime!  I'll have to do that--it would be fun.  I also saw some other people there that I hadn't seen in years, so that was nice too.  There was a mutual friend of ours named Tom who was there (my brother and Mike and I lived with him and another woman for a couple of summers in Burlington, back in the late '80s/early '90s), and it had been a long time since I last saw him.  He had a stroke a few years ago (I think he's just in his late 40s), so it was really fascinating to talk to him.  He speaks pretty slowly, and he talked about everything that happened in the past using the present tense.  He told me that he hears everything like he did before, but he just can't respond to it in the same way.  He used the word "weird" a lot to describe the experience.  I'm sure it has been pretty weird for him.  But I think he's recovered pretty well, and he seemed to be in good spirits.

After that, I went up to Montréal to spend some time in the studio.  It was a good session.  I was thinking very lucidly, and having a good time. Just trying to tie things together, all the disparate elements of my life.  Ever since I sent that artist statement to you, I've been thinking a lot about the things that truly interest me (the "real" "me"), & how I want to present myself to the world (or at least the art world--maybe the two are interchangeable).  I think if I could somehow combine humor, music, and art-making, it would probably be the most real or honest representation of who I am and what I care about, and what I think about life and the the world in which we live.  Last night, while I was in the studio, I was taking pieces of that brown paper and putting it in the big box that I've made, while listening to music.  So then I was thinking about doing a performance in which I'm dressed in a suit and tie, with slicked-back hair (so, trying to look like the antithesis of the artist), and having the big box and a big pile of the brown paper, and just slowly filling the box with the paper, while a soundtrack plays.  I'm pretty sure it's a commentary on a bunch of different things, but I just haven't worked that part out yet.

Time to go make dinner!  Hope all is well with you.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Back and front

Hello dear Tereza,
I'm back online, and can start posting again.
Thank you for continuing the work and conversation even in my absence

With love,

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Questions for the man, An aberration

Questions for the man: 
Is this life working for you?
Why do you strut in this manner?
Wanna take a walk?
Without the facade, can you talk?
What made you this way?
Where does your entitlement come from?
Are you content?
What is the purpose of your day?
What is your purpose?
How far do you see?
How do you see?
Do you see the grass? The ripples on water?
Why do you want to end your life?

Monday, October 19, 2015

On Creativity, David Bohm

Un-defining Creativity

Tereza Mazur


EdPs 620 Human Development

July 12-16, 2004

Un-defining C r e a t i v i t y

Stretching the Rules We Bind Ourselves With

Sounds of water spraying, birds chirping above, and wind rustling in the trees along with the sound of children playing in the park are just a slight vision of our understanding of creativity.  The air that passes through, in and out of our lungs even when we are not focused on the process is a natural part of our organism making up this magical creation. Many of the activities we do when we are absorbed in the present qualify as part of the creative process: a boy jumping continuously reaching the monkey bars, my hand writing upon this paper.  To become aware of the natural beauty is our only mission and a desperate need if we want to create a different world from this one. Why the pressing urgency?
" Most of us have lost touch with nature. Civilization is tending more and
more toward large cities. We are becoming more and more an urban people, living in crowded apartments and having very little space even to look at the sky of an evening and morning, and therefore we are losing touch with a great deal of beauty" (Krishnamurti, 1983, p.33-34).
            Creativity is.  "But thought in itself is limited, therefore whatever it does is limited" (Krishnamurti, 1983, p.16).  Initially, we act creatively very well, as young infants not acquiring knowledge but simply absorbing it (Gardner, 1993).
Page 1 of 5

Later we come close to this ideal through our potential in the arts, sciences and through
spirituality.  We want to know.  What we are faced with is a vast expanse of the unknown.  We feel a part of this vastness yet at the same time our universe cannot be conceived in our current minds (Krishnamurti, 1983, p.25). Reasoning makes a theory fixed, inflexible and this is not how the universe functions.  It is ever changing, limitless, organic and creative in nature, as are all things within it.  Many of our greatest minds have followed this flow being centered in their nature.  For example, Gardner (1993) states of Einstein,
"Einstein was a man of seeming contradictions: an individual in some ways young, in other ways mature beyond his years; a nonbeliever who spent much time thinking about God; a pacifist who stimulated the production of the most deadly weapon in history; a scientific radical who spent his last years seeking to refute the radical new scientific paradigm; a scientist whose own standards as a theoretician were quintessentially aesthetic; an individual obsessed by the physical world, who pondered timeless matters as well as the concept of time, yet also one who devoted many hours to addressing the mundane problems
that beset the humans of his era" (Gardner, 1993, p.130).
             How do we, like Einstein, get closer to just being and inadvertently knowing, sensing, living our potential?  We have our hints in the child within when we were closest to our natural, pure, fresh selves. When we were not concerned with knowing although we learned more in those years than we do throughout our entire life. Einstein himself declared "that we know all the physics that we will ever need to know by the age of three" (Gardner, 1983, p.89).  The more we learn to be in this absorbed state, naturally,
Page 2 of 5
through the practice of such activities as meditation or even running, the more open we will be to creative energy as it flows throughout the world.
            If the concept of thinking back to the time when we were young does not remind us of our potentialities, we are only to look upon the children around us today.  When working with and around very young children, before our forced structure alters their nature, these young ones shed great light on our tarnished society.  They explore genuinely as well as laugh and cry with all their heart.  And still see the beauty of a flower or a leaf. They can create the most beautiful, peaceful world that we innately have within us.  Too bad we have not yet learned to listen and see children, thinking them smaller and therefore less.  Their potential is hugely undermined.  We set our limits upon their learning in an outlined time frame that often does not correlate with their, or our for that matter, inner creative cycle.
                        "From some points of view education has done its task; looking around us
today, we can see great material gains.  But serious questions can be raised
about how much we have been able to educate beyond the making and consuming of objects. Have we in our educational system really put emphasis upon human values? Or have we been so blinded by the material rewards that we have failed to recognize that the real values of a democracy lie in its most precious good, the individual?" asks Viktor Lowenfeld in the art educator's bible, Creative and Mental Growth, p.3.
            How do we in this society come to adulthood with our artist-self intact? When and how do we loose those childhood ideals and the sight of our infinite potential? And most importantly through rediscovering ourselves is it possible to create something different
for us than our concrete-mechanical jungle?  On these topics I can only speak from
Page 3 of 5
my heart through my own experience.  I entered the art class on a whim my senior year in high school, very late in terms of going on with this career.  I found myself utterly absorbed, and being alone, without my best friend and sister who moved half way around the world, art became a source of support.  I drew from what I knew throughout the next decade or so and this being mostly suffering, I created only that in my work.  Images came from horrors found in newspapers; the process was used as a source of coping.  Sacrificing myself for the pain of others, I thought, was the most love I could give.  In reality it was an escape of the source of pain within myself and a lack of compassion for my own suffering, feeling it relative to everyone else's. This dual thinking made a separation and kept everybody at a distance, seeing everyone as an 'other'.  In Cape Town I glimpsed the rays of everyone's light even through centuries of blockage and restraint.  It is thanks to the process in and of South Africa that I paralleled after listening, converting my pain, healing. I am now free to create the kind of world I want to see.    
             Through my experience of teaching art for the past three years to over twelve hundred youngsters between the ages of five and thirteen, I have been privileged to observe children at play. Through this I conjured up a feeling of pure delight.  With the help of children, I have seen an aspect of my true potential of being a teacher, of being a beautiful human being.  Our children and we need a creative environment to develop in. Their life is too short, as is ours.  Through just this our world can turn into an entirely positive place. Let's support ourselves in this continuous growth!

       Page 4 of 5
Tereza Mazur

EdPs 620 Human Development

July 12-16, 2004

Un-defining C r e a t i v i t y

Stretching the Rules We Bind Ourselves With
Gardner, Howard. Creative minds: An Anatomy of Creativity Seen Through the Lives of Freud, Einstein, Picasso, Stravinsky, Eliot, Graham, and Ghandi. BasicBooks, 1993, 87-131.

Krishnamurti, Jiddu. On Nature and the Environment. Star Publishing, 1983, 33-39.

Krishnamurti, Jiddu and David Bohm. The Future of Humanity: A Conversation. Harper & Row, 1986, 5-51.

Lowenfeld, Viktor and W. Lambert Brittain. Creative and Mental Growth: Fifth Edition. The Macmillan Company, 1970, 1-19.

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Monday, October 12, 2015


Capital Cleanse, Bruised, 2015
Cast Soap, Embedded Tape Transfer, Bleeding Ink (left), 2"diameter
Trayvon Martin (Preschool Graduation) Tape Transfer, Bleeding Ink revealed through washing (right), 2 "diameter

In Bruised, I look at the victims of police brutality and their families. I embed their image, printed directly from the internet, within soap. (Please see Capital Cleanse.) The image bruises, stains and cuts right into this soft material which is revealed as participant washes his or her hands. The project was installed at Vermont College of Fine Arts as part of "Art as Advocacy."

Art for Everyone

Soon to be available on PDF for free.

Cards Against Brutality

These should be in all High School/College Courses throughout the US.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Exquisite Corpse II

What a lovely thought to do this exercise. In terms of dialogue, I found today this video. I love the stillness and have been listening to their voices during today's class. Fascinating conversation and how they relate!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Bark I through V, (A Change is Gonna Come)

and Capital Cleanse at Augusta Savage Gallery this October

Wednesday, July 22, 2015


Ready for use at On The Ground Floor

Oh, Ani

The question:

     "I want to know if you can see Beauty (Betty) even when it is not pretty every day.
      I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still shout 'yes!'
      It does not interest me how much money you have, I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised  to the bone to feed the children."
Her answer:

Thursday, July 9, 2015



Dear Tereza,

From today: If you only
have 5 minutes (to be in
studio, to make work),
The first moment is to
reflect, to think about
who you are, what your
intention is, and how
you'd like to be present.
The first full minute.

               xo Angela


Dear Angela,

The postcards were left on the table when I got home. What joy to find the images and your words! There is so much to work with through a postcard and such an exchange- a public viewing of a very private world. (But the exercise could apply to anyone.)

"The first moment is to reflect."

In Seattle I came upon not only my first couple of workshop folders but also my notebooks that went alongside them. I'm working my way through each article and exercise again. Ready to teach this work. (I hope there is a teaching workshop next year.)

"Who you are"


"What your intention is"

Anitra's work and life has interwoven in mine again. (The green ink blob with her graphite portrait  is off to a show in Cambridge in August.) They asked for a write up:

What inspired you to make this piece? 
Can you say anything about your grief and healing process while making and completing this piece? 
Who or what is it about? 
A poem or short statement is fine. Some sort of explanation helps viewers have a more in depth response to the work and connect in an universal way to grief and healing.

Please send the writing to me. 

My response:  

Savage Beauty

I am so happy for you. A boy amongst all the pretty girls. You'll have to buy him new clothes, no hammy downs! And Will will have a son to play ball with and tinker on the car with. Unless Ali already does that stuff.

Is Ali still a dancer and singer?   I watch "So you think you can dance" and I think of you and remember when you gave me your dancing shoes and sparkly blue outfit. Which I wore just last year!

Are you birthing in water again? This time it'll be easier.I remember the photos of you - so red in the face! I wonder if you will make umbilical chord artwork again.

I gotta go to a group therapy session now...I love you always.


I was 8 months pregnant with my son the year she emailed the note above, the day before her untimely death. In the series “Awakening,” I reconnect with Anitra Haendel, a very close friend, collaborator and fellow artist who unfortunately took her own life, on July 23rd 2013. I continue our decade long collaboration. I aim to redefine death, seeing it not as an end, but a point in a continuum. I question our physicality. The investigation gets more and more subtle and the material becomes more and more immaterial in its final form. 

"How to be present"

Thinking about a balanced seesaw arrived at by finding the right spot for each of the participants.

Ani's Gift from First Workshop 2000