Monday, November 30, 2009


wiped flour from pie dough

vacuumed dust and hair

sweeping dirt and dust

swept studio floor

collecting dust and spiderwebs

sweeping dirt

sanded postcard dust

collecting lint

Sunday, November 29, 2009

from mother/to mother alphabet- project 1

sweepings on cut-out contact paper, dimensions roughly 5x8" each

Each projects to life-size via a projector. I hope to have 26 of these, each one standing for a letter. As I was working today I jotted the following notes on the symbols meaning:

It is about having these motherly (loving) relationships with everyone: giving support and being supported. -

-so what kind of environment would support this kind of interaction?

-for example: what song brings you comfort? what sounds in general? what smells?

-can you make a gesture of support? that would support another?

-can you make a gesture of being supported?

(It does not have to be in the physical, figurative realm. How else might this interaction manifest? Can the projection somehow include the viewer's body?)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Journey and the thoughts along the way

marking time in space (can be erased and redrawn- original text is in pencil)
start: crates, containers, moving slowly
planes landing, slowly, cycling (I'm reminded of my returning)
"Welcome aboard"
landscape- origin of term? ownership?
continuous motion, presence/absence
"I'm here," I say on the phone. Here where? In the land,
many miles from you.
red of the trees disrupts my thinking, one big wall
It's quiet, slow, pleasant, drawn out horn
I'm imagining Washington's coast but I can be anywhere, nowhere
(mothering is/as a landscape, no one owns it.)

"Train attendant, Harold..." Earth divided: pumpkin field, golf course, count American flags
left view so different from the right- for an instant vast space, passing train
gray clouds hang low, a blue patch
riding on the shore, overhearing conversations
homes on stakes, destruction inevitable
(when ripped apart from one's child, there is a sensation of a body part being pulled away.
"It's good for her, she will learn." She is fine now, but the tears in the eyes are no illusion.
I have carried her since my mother's birth- cycle of 50 years.
"I want to go on the train too!" She would enjoy this ride)
"Don't put your hands in your mouth." Hygiene, smell of others
Houses blanketed with leaves, is that some body's home?
get the impression of the land, land Washington?, in language
smell of lunch permeates the car, french fries
dirt dangling off a shoe "Don't have to worry 'bout my mind & goin' home."
The train moves without me, someone shoots the train
homey smell of french fries, is it homey or just a smell?
cows! I'm embedded into the land
sounds: cell phone, bubble gum pop, low tones of conversation
America, decapitated houses, it's raining
I remember this town, the cottage, the shack
are we riding slower or faster than we drove?
I have too much food "Could you help me eat them?"
old folks wave "Bye, Bye," the cars rock
write legibly (need to be read, ALOUD/ALLOWED)

"Someone else's heart pumping someone else's blood & walking arm in arm..."
it is a continuous missing, thoughts of her fade but never quite get away
she's such a fascinating being, and we are utterly interconnected
more thoughts escape now
things pass by
notes are slight
collapsing structures
who's dumb idea was this?

Boredom sets in, industrial landscape, trash
I just ate trash, soggy swiss and ham, ham questionable, smells like it but does not taste
nighttime is harder- what was I trying to escape? & trade for this boredom, this immense time, for what?
to sit in no space, facing my fears, I'd rather fold laundry
I know I will like the sunrise, but that is twelve hours aways! what till then?
bodily functions are under control, "PATIENCE"
always in the middle of the process there is a problem
freight train is broken
when train is still???
Awake to an awaking California!
What a night! stuck behind a freight train in the middle of nowhere, Oregon
for hours
lost much hope
changed that slightly by learning a few cords on the guitar
teacher, a bluegrass player
A stop, I loose track where. Through Ani conversation on landscape- understanding it as scape
something one sees, objectifying it. (possessing it?)
On a train that does not (the picture) exist.
it is continuous, not ending, no rectangle
where does the art end? ever changing, never ending
pace, pace of the train, slow, peaceful
12:30 reservations in the dinning car
how much do I need to consume? how much money do I need? how much energy does one need sitting down?
logs turned into blocks
bee hives, planes, hawks & birds on a wire, electric lines
collapsing structures, can see for miles, cranes
jogger on a road in the middle of the land
Americans walking off fat, "We can't do nothin' but sit back and relax"
The train has stopped,(again), so has my mood
the sky is lovely, the sun pierces through clumps of clouds
sadness flooded like the rain of Portland, but it does move like the weather- soaking, pouring, drying
I keep recalling the second leaving, where it was my choice
that responsibility for my sadness floods me
movement feels better than stillness
there is comfort in things going by, no preciousness
delayed writing, why this mark making?
It's not about arriving, necessarily, it is about the process in getting there
(but really sometimes you just want to be there already!)
one wastes allot of this 'open' time, one does not need this time
bursts of two to four hours, yes, but 36-40, no.
Nothing is ever still, ducks swimming, cows feeding, Canadian geese stretching their wings
flocks of ducks take flight
cow with calf, bull wades in water, drinks, am reminded of Cedeberg animals
what grace!
train- a state of (indirect) non production

Monday, November 23, 2009

Thoughts on the new year

I sent images of my most recent paintings and Conscious Object pieces to The Compound Gallery in Oakland today. I met the owners a few weeks ago, and finally sent them examples of my work. I'm happy to say I will be returning to the Bay Area in January after Cape Town; our renter wants to extend her stay until the end of February. So, re-connecting with artists and gallerists here seems like a natural step.

I also have a large commission for January in Santa Cruz - my first in 2010. Seems like a very promising start to the New Year.
Another sketch

Morse code translation of Ingrid De Kok's poem Women and Children First

Women and Children First

It’s always been so.
This makes it worse.
Women and children first.

First to be hurt
Last to be nursed.
It’s always been so.

When rumour stalks
First to be cursed.
And worse.

Turned out, inside out.
Only safe in the hearse.
Women and children first.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Walking meditation

Walking meditation
Sunday, November 15, 2009
9:30 AM PST
25 minute walk
Joshua Tree National Park

Sunday, November 8, 2009

getting BIG and claiming space

The next projection of the cutouts is going to life size. Work is on paper (perhaps canvas, perhaps wall) and the joint body frames actual space where ever installed.

hieroglyphics of a joint body

Friday, November 6, 2009

Goat, Bull, Cow

The goat is a symbol of practical wisdom and an emblem of a man who wins victories through diplomatic means, rather than by force. It may also represent one who is willing to work hard for high honors. The goat was associated with Christ, since both were partial to high places and had sharp eyes. A man bearing this symbol was thought to have God on his side. The goat is a symbol that is often found in armory. It can be in the positions of passant (walking), statant (standing), salient (springing) or rampant (in the fighting position).

A bull in a coat of arms, on a crest or a shield, represents valor and magnanimity, bravery and generosity. The horns represent strength and fortitude and a winged bull is the symbol traditionally associated with St. Luke. Oxen, and cows also appear on some crests and arms, although rarely and more often as a pun on a names such as Oxford or the town of Cowbridge. Calves are more common. The calf is an ancient heraldic symbol traditionally associated with the characteristics of patience, submissiveness and self-sacrifice.

Cow- Theosophy Dictionary on Cow

The ancients employed certain animals as symbols to convey specific aspects of philosophical and religious teachings to the multitude, and "the cow-symbol is one of the grandest and most philosophical among all others in its inner meaning" (SD 2:470).

Generally, the cow represents the fructifying power in nature -- the Divine Mother or feminine principle. Among the Scandinavians that which first appeared at the birth of the universe was the divine cosmic cow, Audhumla, from whom flowed four streams of milk, providing sustenance to all the beings that followed.

Among the Greeks the founding of a new race was associated with the cow -- as instances, Io and Europa. In Egypt the goddesses representing the aspect of the Universal Mother are associated with cow symbols, principally Hathor and Isis. In India the cow symbol is reverenced: Kamaduh or Surabhi (the cow of plenty) represents the nourishing and sustaining vital and productive principle in nature. The goddesses of lunar type are found to be connected in symbology with the cow.

"The cow was in every country the symbol of the passive generative power of nature, Isis, Vach, Venus -- the mother of the prolific god of love, Cupid, but, at the same time, that of the Logos whose symbol became with the Egyptians and the Indians -- the bull -- as testified to by Apis and the Hindu bulls in the most ancient temples. In esoteric philosophy the cow is the symbol of creative nature, and the Bull (her calf) the spirit which vivifies her, or 'the Holy Spirit' " (SD 2:418n).

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

NYFA application submitted

Artist statement:
"If one understands the nature of our consciousness, then the particular endeavor of the "me" that suffers then becomes something global, and a totally different activity will take place." -Krishnamurti

My work explores the relationship between meditative practice and everyday actions in order to transform personal experience into more universal empathy. By considering both as dynamic aspects of the same form rather than as binary opposites, I attempt to facilitate contemplative space within the context of the everyday.

My visual choices are largely drawn from personal experiences, and yet invite the viewer to bring their own histories to each piece. I employ a limited palette that points to the collective rather than using a wider array of color in the Modernist tradition that would point to me as an Individual Artist.This is aligned with the work of Antoni Tapies, Anselm Kiefer, and Joseph Beuys who also describe universal vulnerability and the fragility of the human psyche.

I attempt to illuminate these frozen moments - a collapsing altar, burned down piers, domestic items in suspension (of disbelief), abstracted psychological spaces - to imply the presence of absence and speak about tragedy and loss with compassion and grace.

Images (first four of eight):

Images (second four of eight):

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Tereza I still think you should paint these sketches BIG
They could be stunning, especially considering how well you paint.