I grew up with this family, and it was hard to be at another funeral for another one of them: my friend died a few years ago, and now her father died. The wake or service was thankfully full of life, as there were many many new babies, lots of family and friends from the neighborhood in attendance.
But my mother and I were very very sad.
After the funeral home, I decided to see Rauchenberg's "runts" show in Chelsea. After all, the funeral home was only 10 blocks away, and Alex Mennella was the kind of person to deal with his feelings, but then move on into something artistic, positive, and real. I think he would have gone to see Rauchenberg too. So, with him in mind, I walked up to 25th street. I'm so glad I did.
I was so glad to see new Rauchenberg work! It took me a little while to absorb his energy. But the way he makes his works resonates even now. I'm so glad he's still making his work.
After Rauchenberg I also stopped in to say hi to another gallery, and ended with Shirin Nashat at Gladstone. Her work also blew me away in a much different way. We are so brutal to each other as human beings; her work has such a human quality, very intimate. Also very sad.
On the way home I broke down publicly, unable to contain my emotion. Thankfully the sun had already set, and I was alone on the streets walking back to the apartment. But dealing with death again doesn't get easier, even if it is because of natural causes (finally).
When I got home I started embroidery again on the pillow case, thinking about the last things one thinks about before going to sleep. Channeling Lisa Brice's work in a less violent way. The people we live with came home and we had a nice dinner together. I didn't realize my mascara was all over my face from crying on the way home. They were polite enough not to mention it.
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