working

When I start to work again, really work again, the instability of what I "have to do" begins to settle down and make sense. I create my own center.

I am beginning to realize the shift in my work and feel grounded in that shift.

I don't know why neither of us said anything to rebut the familial and familiar racism we recently experienced. It's shocking to me that we both stayed silent.

To think more globally, I know Apartheid didn't just "happen"..it insidiously grew in momentum because people did not speak out against injustice. Not just on a local level, but a world wide level no one said anything. I often think about that when I decline to comment against the subtle remarks I hear at parties, or at family gatherings, or at dinners. I was in high school when Mandela was in jail on Robben Island, worrying more about "being fat" than what was going on outside my own clique.



It's my responsibility to speak up, and in the most recent case I did not. Something very real to learn from. Also, living in North America, the very recent past of our own internal racism. Who needs to go to South Africa, if we can more easily head to Woolworth's?



As I am realizing my potential with my work, I also realize my potential as a workshopper, whatever that word means. My choices to continue with the principles I believe in are only becoming less of an issue, and more evident in what I do and say. Even though I tend to rant and rave here in our conversation, I've made my choice and it's clear to me what structures I want to be surrounded by, and which ones I no longer have use for. But it's conversations like the ones we did not contribute to that also teach me so much.

Creatively, this puts me in conversations with many more people in many other countries, in many other times. This gives me momentum. I feel part of something larger on our tiny little planet.

Are you moving back to New York? That's a big step. Keep making work; it will help guide you. Let's both speak up next time.