I was at a dinner recently where many things were said that I did not agree with, and actually took offense to; however, rather than confronting the discomfort, I did nothing to engage nor did I offer any alternative to the prevailing opinions shared. I did not say anything.
Not to speak is to speak
Not to act is to act
I found the subtle racism offensive, the potential male bashing hurtful, the classicm comments made with casual ignorance rather shocking. I felt the diners around me were very aggressive at times about so much. It was like growling dogs ready for a fight. All this over a nice mesclun salad!
I also heard things being voiced that I would have said not so long ago. That's what is most shocking, and most humbling. I am them; they are me. There is no separation. There is no difference
At the moment I don't know why I became complacent and did not speak up when I did not agree with what was being said. I take that back, I do know: it reminded me of annual family get togethers when my aunties or uncles or cousins make derogatory remarks about "foreigners" or other ethnicities than Italian-Americans...I often block them out and remain silent.
That's a choice I don't want to make anymore. It's becoming more clear how I want to live, and how I can respond rather than react. How being in a teaching position all the time takes a lifetime to be proficient at (let alone excellent at)...all the gears must be working all the time.
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