New (s) Paper

I was inspired this weekend by the women around me. I spent the morning at a Korean Spa- a bath house. Fifty stunning nudes around me- stunning is not the word, beautiful- that's it.

There was no sexual tone- although over here in the western world the two have been so intertwined.

It was such a pleasure- people being free with themselves and others. Another stunning fact was to see the variety in bodies. The diversity.

It really spun my mind to the reality that is and the reality that is- a twisted idea(l).
The experience was very refreshing.

I am reading The Feminine Mystique- thinking of my reality being a "stay-at-home-mom" - thinking of labels- how unhealthy they become when we fix them to something/one. A friend of mine and I went out with our daughters. After being seated next to us, a woman asked to be reseated. Did we do to affend by just being? I often feel like a second-third class citizen- where is my overtime- where is my minimum wage?

No, I want a world without wage- without an outside source telling me what I am worth- for everyone.
I want a reality that vulues each other for their differences. I want a new paper, daily.

Automatic writing

Click onto this great site for a William Kentridge's early animation

http://dvblog.org/?p=30

I don't know how to include the video into this blog. Sorry

Pulse art fair, New York

Today Turu and I met Melora at the Pulse art fair at the Armory and went to see western countries' art galleries' art. Lots and lots of art. I make that clarification b/c what I saw is a particular slice of art that was presented in a particular way. I am careful not to think of the "art world" in grandious terms, but now see each event, artist, gallery, as people deciding to work with this thing called "art". It liberates my brain and heart.

It was interesting how each booth was a microcosm of an idea(l), an identity. It was also interesting how I noticed things in a different way than I would have before: namely, what was real to me and what I hardly noticed. It was in a non judgemental way, but more judicious: seeing as much that appealed to me as what didn't.

It was also an interesting way to gallery shop for representation...to see what gallerists were interesting to talk to, which ones peaked my curiosity. It was great to spend that time with Turu and to not separate my marital life with my art making process.

There were the fluff pieces, pieces that I didn't understand as "art", but also a lot of interesting pieces that made me think about new media, ways of continuing down the path of a mixed media project or a painting project...many things were continuations of ideas already generated in workshops that I've done before or seen other workshoppers do. That was inspiring.

Maybe tomorrow I'll go to the Armory show at Pier 94, but I think I saw so much all I want to do is be in studio and continue to create my own work.

Also watching "art:21" on DVD...love all the inspiration there is in the world of artists.

more process

process

Some studio shots, taken this past week.

Power

I love your power...
Show me more

I realized how silenced I have been as a woman-

I'm thinking of my friend, a pilot in Iraq whose helicopter went down last week. I have been thinking of her lately wondering how silenced one must be under the scrutiny of the military.
She was always a quiet girl.

I'm also thinking of labor- how natural it was- surrounded by supportive women and my partner- allowing me to be in the moment- screaming - calming- moving- swimming, naked. It was a wonderful way to be teaching me so many lessons.

What can WE do??
Roar like lions, roar with the strength we have in our bodies-
I am reminded of the beautiful blue umbilical cord that passed nourishment from me to my child- we can do- if we do naturally

Finding another path every day

Last night after an exhilerating day studio and work Turu and I went to friends' house to see "the Ground Truth", a documentary about US veterans after their service in Iraq. It was bone-chilling, but more surprising was the response by those around me: "What can WE do?"

It struck me that the question was not asked in ernest, and not asked five or six years ago when the war in Iraq began, but asked in the safety of a New York apartment, because it seemed like a correct question to ask in a group of white, urban, educated types. At least that was my perception.

It also struck me although we were watching a film about the Iraq war, there were a multitude of connections with the Apartheid government in South Africa. No one asked about my experience in Capetown; they could not hear the connections I was trying to relate. I tried to relate the images of bodies being mamed, interogated, shot at, humiliated, yelled at, to experiences I heard firsthand from people I met in Capetown, but that analogy seemed to get lost in the ether...

I remember very clearly in the Holocaust museum the phrase "not to speak is to speak, not to act is to act". Until enough people stand up and say NO, human rights abuses will continue and continue.

But to the question "What can we do?"...how do I answer? By building a green building in the middle of New York? By creating artwork that looks a certain way, but is actually something else, with a twist? By reading the New York Times in the country? What can one do?

I asked myself that a lot when I was in Capetown, and now that I'm back in New York it seems like just a relevant question. How does one process the daily knowledge of pain and destruction? How does one begin to stand up to what they know is wrong? I am beginning to create a principally feminine world in my studio to engage sides of myself that have been choked out of me for years and years. It feels decidedly me, for now.

It is one's choice how to live one's life. I know I have made my choice. My own psycological mark, my choice to actively live my life as an artist, not to be swayed by "cool", not to live so much at the whims of others. To have a spine. To use my voice, to not be afraid of my power.

backward shirts

an hour.. how many minutes/time do I have before the sleepy cry of a little one becons the breast?

this time is for me- my meditation- reading-reflecting-responding. I dive into your words. There is an uneasyness - I fly through the day siometimes seemingly in chaos- wantintg to force a routine knowing she does not work this way and frankly neither do I.

Grounding in breath is to me the way as is the grounding in your bones, I think. The breath carries me through the roughness- I often have to find it- it works like magic with the exhale..

tha painting images- over and over again makes me link up our lives - at the moment I am not painting much - my painting, art is my daughter- with her I see connections- my flaws, the stains, the history, the beauty, the mess!

There is so much to work on all the time... How do I keep connected to my heart? in the moment- one moment feeds the next - how much does all of history-mine, her, mankinds way upon our shoulders? Can it instead uplift us? Can it all be beautiful?

a psychological mark- any pure movement or stillness of one- if that connection always there at the end of a brush- that I am not sure. a loaded question...

Only an hour

I only had an hour to work today, but it was used to the fullest capacity. I figured something out.

There was a demonstration outside the Guinea embassy this morning. I took a pamphlet.

My clients this afternoon were all small boned and tiny. Lots of back problems.

My partner made me an excellent dinner.

mirror mirror the beginning

Although I have started painting again, I've never worked in this way before. It's been about 5 years since I've been in front of the canvas; about that amount of time since I've been as captivated by drawing as I am now. How is a mark not a mark but a conveyance of a psycological state?

How does painting an item/person/animal over and over again lead to its re-presentation? I can paint the muzzle megaphone cow 15 times and each time each new piece is different, yet dependent on its predecesor for its existance.

How do I engage the viewer by providing just enough visual information to invite their own stories in?
How do I use my own story and own traumas without exploiting them?

What is a pyscological mark?

Working with the word wheels and the paintings and the drawings is like a 3D spiral in and of itself.

Mirror mirror is also on my mind...thinking about feminity, women's sexuality as taboo, vanity, the hand held, the hand made, biennale-scale work. Rhymes, chants, repetition

Eccentric orbits

Related to the volvelle, my partner used the eccentric orbit of Pluto to illustrate how we can mechanize the word wheels. More to come...

volvelles

After making a "word wheel" piece, it was suggested to research different permutations of children's books or pop up books to intervene or make for adults.

During insomnia last night, I researched online:
word wheels
movable books
and then came across "volvelle", see below:

A volvelle (French, meaning to turn) is a paper disc in a book that when rotated can be used as a tool for calculations or other less scientific purposes, such as fortune telling. It is considered the first paper movable to appear in a book.



The first known volvelle was created by Benedictine monk Matthew Paris in 1250. The traditional circular charts that appeared in the abbey's books, used to determine when to observe holidays, were cumbersome since the books were heavy and had to be rotated on the monk's laps. Matthew decided it would be easy if the circular chart spun around instead of the whole book and so the first volvelle was born! With the introduction of the printing press in the late 1400's it was possible to mass produce books as well as any paper movables inside. Petrus Apianus, shown here in 1533, was a master at this craft and created some of the most beautiful volvelles ever. Some of Petrus' volvelles were simple yet always contained a stunning degree of complexity and sophistication. The multi-piece volvelle, attached at the center with a plain piece of string, could be used to calculate the movements of the cosmos.


In 1540 Petrus produced the gorgeous Astronomicum Caesareum . All the engravings for this very large volvelle were painstakingly executed and then laboriously painted in with watercolors. These types of volvelles were very expensive and would have been beyond the financial means of the general public. They were usually reserved for royalty or for the well-educated (and well-connected) scientific community. For the astrological or navigational student who couldn't afford one of the big, color versions of the volvelles, Petrus and other volvelle creators made small, pocket-size versions of their books.


Some of the volvelles were very simple and could be used to help navigate by the stars. This was certainly a more economical way to do calculations instead of having to purchase much more expensive metal instruments. The volvelles didn't necessary have to have circular paper elements, either. A variety of shapes could be incorporated depending on the types of calculations required. Today, volvelles can also be viewed exquisite pieces of artwork. Creating the extremely delicate woodcuts or printing plates was not an easy undertaking and one misplaced number or letter would spell disaster for the final piece.

So this can be very expansive if worked in a contemporary context. Hmmmm.....

The spiral

Interesting to be starting another blog after my initial curiosity petered out mid-2006. I feel like I am getting back to how I used to be but have never been before.

Some new aspects to consider today:

-circulating ideas dissapates their potency or memory, and at the same time increases possibilities of change. Starting a conversation and possible collaboration with TMS about working with one's traumas in one's current reality.

-living one's life as an artist is more than just making work in studio. I feel like my past is collapsing into my present as I cleaned out and threw out all old paperwork in my closets.

-I feel it's one's choice to feel confined.

-I recently returned from a cultural exchange workshop in Capetown South Africa. After two weeks of being back in New York City, I catch myself swaying back to being "cool" and have to check myself back to the reality i want to live in.

-I am so excited about making work I can hardly sleep.

-The drop of ink in the water glass: let the ideas permeate, deepen, slowly and thoughtfully. Maybe stop skipping from thing to thing and think about how deep one can go with an idea or concept.