Friday, August 8, 2014


Up again, 10:21pm. Not tired at all.
Nurse called back: "nothing's wrong", except why do I still feel so weak, so exhausted, unable to catch my breath, and unable to sleep? The Lyme panel came back negative, except Lyme can take 6 - 8 weeks to show up on a test. Great. Now what?

When I'm awake, I don't feel awake, and when I'm supposed to be sleeping, I don't feel tired. I wake up almost every night between 3AM - 5AM. I'm almost always short of breath. I stopped drinking coffee a week ago, I stopped eating gluten again, also a week ago, I started taking Vitamin D, B, and Omega 3, 6, 9.

They didn't check thyroid function or vitamin why or how is a CBC considered complete? They said to come back next week for another blood test.

In the meanwhile, what should I do?
Treat something that doesn't show up on a test?
Trust my intuition that something is still wrong even though nothing is coming up?
Acupuncture? For what main complaint: exhaustion everywhere and diffuse pain in most joints?
Massage? Energy work? Why?
I'm at a loss. It feels like I'll never get better.

The only energy I had was to rip up my drawings and tape them back together again. I don't even think I was truly following a chance game, if I'm the one who chose the drawings to be cut up. Oy.

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