Saturday, February 8, 2014

the spiral, 7 years in the making

Dear Angela,

Being able to go through time with you in the journey of this blog has been one of the most significant experiences. If it is true, that we ex/change all of our cells within a 7 year cycle then we are now fully integrated, through thoughts, and thought building forms. What a journey!

I look back at your first post which is so related to what I am thinking about today! I want to continue and perhaps even go deeper into this dialogue!
(I'm thinking of the blog in paper form- how long is it in terms of size- how much space do the texts/images take? Wouldn't it be wonderful to have it all up around us and then work in this space? The blog on paper, drawing, tape, notes, mixed media! I see it already forming! How one text relates to another thought an image, a material, a process.)

Here is my link through you to 7 years ago:

-circulating ideas dissapates their potency or memory, and at the same time increases possibilities of change. Starting a conversation and possible collaboration with TMS about working with one's traumas in one's current reality. 
Does circulating ideas dissipate them or intensify them? Change, a deepening into- not necessarily a change asmuch as a shift. The issues may be the same but we look at them differently. I gain strength through collaboration.
The one idea that keeps circulating for me is dialogue, rubbing each other, transferring particles from one to the other, ideas as well as physicality. But then what? So we have dialogue, we share, we understand one another. Or do we truly understand one another? Can we EMBODY another? No, we are the individual self and something more…Can we find rhythm through mutual submission. 
I'm thinking of this article-
Work one’s traumas and joys in one’s current reality.
Mothering trauma- birth for me was a scar second time around. (Can’t remember the one before but I do not remember it being so.) 
Why is mothering still considered othering? Why do I still feel like I have to defend this role that I think is so important? This vital first relation with another being.
Can choosing to have a child be a feminist act? Thanks, Faith, for answering. 

-living one's life as an artist is more than just making work in studio. I feel like my past is collapsing into my present as I cleaned out and threw out all old paperwork in my closets. 

There is very little distinction between my past and present- surrounded by family and environement of my teens. What a loop! Realizing that I have now lived 18 years twice! Past is all around in my present, just shifted, decluttered, no eastern European drapery or doilies around. (or minimally so) I struggle with redefining myself and family members as we have all changed and gone deeper into who we are. 

-I feel it's one's choice to feel confined.
A good reminder. 

-I recently returned from a cultural exchange workshop in Capetown South Africa. After two weeks of being back in New York City, I catch myself swaying back to being "cool" and have to check myself back to the reality i want to live in. 
I need to remember more and more clearly my experience in Cape Town that was so much about being present in who I truly am.

-I am so excited about making work I can hardly sleep.!!!

-The drop of ink in the water glass: let the ideas permeate, deepen, slowly and thoughtfully. Maybe stop skipping from thing to thing and think about how deep one can go with an idea or concept. 
Soap in water, washed. Slow but steady transformation. 

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