Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Dearest Angela

I have been cooped up inside for the last few days, under the weather. Thankfully it was not a sickness that completely overtakes the body. The cold of winter that can get right down depressing, yet the hibernation is a perfect time for letter writing. (I often prefer this to the phone call, as my words tend to be clearer here.)

I'm so glad of Claire's connection. The ZA workshop transformed my life. In 2004 I arrived in Cape Town from the January cold of New York. Everything about that workshop was a trust in... (the universe, myself.) Everything aligned, I found a sub for my position at work and I found a renter for my apartment as well as funding. I love when the wheels are put in motion.

Upon arrival, everything melted. All my guards. (Something about the heat in January. The feeling like I was finally home. How bizarre! in South Africa!) Through all the meetings, I understood that if those around me faced all their trauma and survived, it was time to face mine.

My father beat my mother when I was about eight, shortly after we immigrated. I remember the night vividly. Witnessing. But unable to move. Paralyzed. I remembered the bruise and how she slept in our room. Of course it set up all kinds of patterns of behavior.

I always danced around the subject with looking at gender differences, power struggles, etc. but in ZA. I went directly to that point. It was the first time I told anyone and made the domestic abuse public.

The interesting thing was that the work not only had a different look, but it literally looked so much lighter. I was lighter. Rose said a cloud had lifted.

 Healing Wounds

Trust Fall

It does stop with me!
I am so grateful to have gone into my marriage without that cloud. I don't think I would have been capable of a partnership had I not gone through that experience.

The ceiling is trembling, I hear Will with the kids laughing, screeching. A week or so of being cooped up indoors. 

I look at Healing Wounds and see the soaps. There is something about the pattern, that space between the heads, that reminds me of your paper especially from the perspective of being right above them, (your last photo. I like that installation shot as I can see some of the images of the ones to the right and the rear of those in the front.) 

I can't wait to see you next weekend. I have 100 sheets of archival paper size 13 x 19 ready to go. Choose a post/s that is quite relevant to you right now. I'll bring it with me. We'll see where it takes us. 

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