Tuesday, September 4, 2007

greatness

everything is going GREAT and all i feel like doing is throwing up and passing out.
my mind is racing a mile a minute, my heart is pounding. there is so much that needs to be done, but so much that has already gone very very right for me i'm not used to it.
not used to having things WORK OUT for me. after working so so hard, things are working out...all at the same time, all wonderfully.
so of course my shoulders are at my ears
i'm so worried about money
i'm concerned about the nature of my work, where my trajectory can lead me...my fear of fear and lack of follow through plague me now that i'm living at home and am surrounded by fear and lethargy on a more daily basis.
i feel claustrophobic...husband moved into studio, we moved into my parents' apartment, i live, work, breathe, eat, etc. with at least one member of my family. my work is suffering because i don't have any alone time.
art on the move.
figuring out solutions
remembering to be inspired and motivated and positive and creative
tense like a rock between my shoulders
i feel like a leach i feel like i'm not carrying my own weight for some reason.
but everything is going RIGHT.
what is really the root of this insecurity?

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