this life

If this life is all one has, how can one choose to spend it?

I had an amazingly serendipitous conversation while working with a regular client this afternoon: a woman in her 70's, who in some cosmic way, was tuned into what I needed to talk about today: you know, the big things like the meaning of life, what we're all doing here, etc. I was specifically interested in the blending of life and art, the merge of massage and art and life...trying to remain unseparated in a very divided and seaparted city. Among other wonderful things, she said to live life without the regrets of "what could have been".

She said she has so many books she still wants to read, so many places she still wants to visit; who can tell if she will succeed in her quest? She doesn't believe in reincarnation, so this life is it for her.

Although I do believe in reincarnation of sorts, I still think one has the option of doing great things in this life. Bringing new life into the world, changing thought structures through art, creating paradigm shifts in government, etc...are all possible. With the acknowledgement of my own painful past, and dealing with the issues of sexual manipulation in my work and in my life, I question the "how"...how can I continue to incorporate the aspects of nuance, grace, and vulnerability in my work? I find in my life those aspects are not easily communicable. I am practicing, and I guess practice makes permanent, so...

It was incredibly powerful to be working on her while she was talking, to feel her body and her respiration move her lungs and hear her voice come out of her body as I was massaging her.

I was moved, to stillness if that makes sense. A wave of calm washed over me. It was like the snow that has blanketed the city today; a thin veil, but very present.

I would like to go back to South Africa.
I would like to start living off my art work again
I would like to travel more, with my husband
I would liket the Conscious Object to take off with grace and purpose
I would like to be able to communicate through my work in a more universal way
I would like my finished building to be as green as possible
I would like my husband to stop living a worried life as he does
I would like my memories of the workshops to be able to inspire my daily life for the rest of my life
I would like to leave New York for the next few years
I would like to have fewer separations in my life