During this last week (week 37 of pregnancy), there was a lot of feeling emotional, weepy, feeling hopeless, feeling useless, feeling lethargic, despondent, and physically sick. I perceived this as "difficult" to get through, and did very little to resonate with these feelings. Rather, I fought against them, judged them, judged myself. I contributed to my own feelings of misery.
Today, on the other hand, I began to feel wonderful.
I received encouraging and uplifting news from many people, which helped in my tying up a lot of loose ends.
Suddenly, seemingly tons of pounds were lifted from my shoulders; I felt relieved, happy, optimistic, lighter, bright-eyed and focused. Small but profound connections were made between people, places, and energy...I noticed the subtleties of the world around me and felt comforted by being alive in this moment.
Why is it easier to feel more aware when perceived 'good things' happen than when 'bad' things do? Where does judgment come from, and why?
Is any of this part of the practice of non-attachment?
What part is noticing?
What part is being aware?
Tonight I have insomnia again, and am continuing to work on a beaded Morse code piece based on the John Donne poem Death Be Not Proud. When I took a short break an hour ago, I found an email from a friend who forwarded me the announcement for Liza Lou's most recent exhibition at L&M Arts in Los Angeles.
As I only have the thumbnail images on my computer screen to base this observation on, it was a pleasant surprise to see such a shift in Lou's beaded work. There appeared to be so much more transparency and weightlessness to the pieces: a transformation from earlier work. I felt myself exhaling more deeply after seeing the exhibition highlights online. It had such a more quiet atmosphere around it. A stillness and a breath that I haven't felt from her work before.
Synchronicity
Chance occurance
Focus
Attention
Awareness
Stillness
I will continue to work until I get tired
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