It finally stopped raining. Partly-cloudy with sunshine throughout pockets of the day.
My desk is getting less cluttered, every part of the house has an unresolved project
Already too much coffee, had extra water throughout the day first in the clinic, then the hospital
Found Arnheim's book on my own, received the Radicant from the library
Still hoping to have own room soon, slowly rearranging objects (today transferred Ali's clothing into a closet in her room) so that eventually the garage will be a clear teaching/making space
Pay mortgage, paid credit card bill
Do I need another file cabinet, need a shelf for Will's school equipment in the office
Bed not made, Beds not made
Food not bought, Refrigerator stuffed (in laws are over)
I want to build the wall and doors, I want to plaster the garage walls and paint
On phone with health insurance, On the phone with siblings (mom had an EEG that showed a possible heart attack-still not sure, they are running tests, doctors said the EEG sometimes misdiagnoses the Asian community?)
On phone with medical provider, drove to Emergency after the first test indicated a possible heart attack at the clinic
A lot of low self worth, panicked (heart rate shot up while driving)
Transfer balance request not secure, there is no security
Couch in disarray, House in orderly disorder
Migraine. Disappointment (we were finally going to go out on a date tonight, don' t remember the last one, it was so long ago)
End of the day, End of the day (almost)
Make the return
Pay another installment
Make the connection, spark a connection
Really loud music from passing cars, pool closed- wanted to do laps
Buy flowers for entryway, Ali picked dandelions we put in a glass of water, they open and shut with the day
Take out trash, broke the trash bag spilled compost onto the rug
Stood up for myself, Took charge
Show apartment one more open house, Passed out invitations
How can I support myself without relying on T too much?
How can I support myself without relying on W too much?
Feeling isolated, feeling like I need a change (coming to NY this summer with Ali- will for sure let you know when)
Lavender oil not helping, calming tea did not do much either
Sunny and moist, sweating in a bathing suit
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