the journey, a composition

We just spent these last three days winding through mountains. It brought out the same concepts for me as the past workshop:

-excitement
-breathtaking beauty
-fear and vulnerability (and the spiral that comes with these thoughts)



The closed road: when you are heading in a direction with a map in hand and suddenly there is an unforeseen barrier. (As we were heading to our reserved campsite we came upon the only road through the mountain to take us there frozen over- the detour being a 3 hour to our already 4 hour drive.)

-panic, unknown, utter terror

This is not the place I want to live from. I too need a lot more humor, joy in the everyday.

So- I've tried stopping the habit- the first thought that brings me to a spiral. (Or at least catching the first thought- know I am going there).

Other possibilities open up: we found a side road after speaking with Rangers. It took us up the side of Mt. St. Helens to an okay spot for the night. (more fear here about not knowing where we actually were). Then Ali took a walk down the road (upon more fear from me that a wild animal might snatch her). She led us to a beautiful spot to a rushing river. It was a much better spot than the previous night where we slept crammed in a campground.


Since The Everyday in Contemporary Art and Practice, I'm just trying to recognize when I'm acting out of a fear of death. I'm trying to act not from that fear but from the other thousands of possibilities.

I've also realized my work is about one thing- and am exploring that in any form around me (sometimes not even generated by me- just recognizing it happening).


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