clearing space

It's become very obvious that I have to transform my sense of what my 'day job' is into something that manifests my beliefs. Currently, that is not happening. I'm scared, even though I'm unhappy. When I see the photos you just posted, it makes sense that there is no time to waste, there is no past or future, just the present moment. I miss Anitra more and more and more. My mind is playing tricks on me, and my heart is very, very sad. How could she have made that impossible choice? How did fear invade her mind and spirit? Talking about it doesn't seem to help that much; being in the world and continuing to practice art is the only way I have found that makes sense. It's the experience beyond language that I am connecting to. I will post images tomorrow. It was really good to talk to you earlier xo

Ani Remains

Today's process in the studio- thinking of just questions,

What remains?

What precedes?

What follows?

Looking at these now, they all question time.

(top; a shrine for Ani, evolves daily)

(bottom; when carving her portrait in Poison Ivy soap, her smile reminded me of an expression of anguish I had painted on an egg-shell years ago. It was uncanny how the two were similar and made me think of her dual emotions, smiling in every photo but a deep, deep sadness underneath. Tape asks from left to right; pain, and, or, pleasure?)

(I see the cross in both of the above.)

CZ proverb; "To a friend with help, even at midnight."

(I wish I was there with her at 2AM.)

(front and back) a collaboration we sent to each other

This may not be the book you mentioned but one Ani sent me. None-the-less, I read the preface and worked with it. 

quote: "We need to study the past, become vulnerable, transcend our fears, better analyze the present, and look beyond the shock of the moment."

"Enlightenment is an accident."

Reminded me of Ani's flip painting series. 

I took the quotes from JFC that I had written and taped all around the studio and started sticking them on my round belly. 

top says; "mix the right blue"

bottom; "pain and or pleasure"

others said; "no preexisting answer"

"blood memory"

what precedes, what remains?

starting Chapter 1

I don't get the sense that Anitra is very far away.
I keep telling her "it's OK, you're OK" in the way I comfort my son when he's upset or confused.

I knew her better when she lived in New York. When she moved to LA, and I moved outside of the city, we didn't keep in touch. But that was OK. Especially during this last year, and the last months of her life in 3 dimensions, you and others kept us all abreast of how she was doing, and what was going on.

I thought about her a lot today, and happened to, totally by chance, drive by the loft you all shared in Brooklyn. It was a surreal moment. She felt really close.  Most of the images I have of her are on film, and I will post them as I scan them in. These are from 2008 xo

http://vimeo.com/user12099684/haendel-interview

breathing, it's all i can do right now

when I don't think about art, I am connected to what I'm making. I investigate, stand still, observe.
When I think about making art, everything goes flat

upcoming exhibition

Connecting The Dots

Angela Rose Voulgarelis

September 7 – October 6, 2013

Scott Dutton Architecture Gallery

15 Canfield Street

Kingston, NY 12401

Opening Reception: Saturday, September 7, 5-7pm

Gallery Hours: By appointment

in the studio after our conversation the other day

another version of grandma is off to Illinois

One more soap is off to a show called Real People 2013 at:

Old Court House Arts Center in Woodstock, IL

Show opens, Thursday August 8

Opening Reception, Saturday August 24, 7p CST 

Exhibition Closes, September 29: 

sketchbook entry from a few weeks ago

Old Friends

(Objects with memory)

After reviewing grandmother's items and pondering their meaning or the meaning in relationship to her, I look at my own objects, 

the few objects that I love to touch again and again, that jot a particular memory or person.

Much of the artwork that I have from various collections, feels the same. (priceless, or outside of a consumerist mentality.)

My home would not be a home without them.

I'm thinking of this passage in relationship to what we were talking about, mining from one's own history. I'm also thinking about the view I had from my hammock the first day we camped. It was the first sense of grounding and at 'home' feeling that I had since we moved from Europe. I remember Claire asking/telling me in the first workshop what I would paint if all the politics and my own emotions were removed. I decisively did not have to think twice, trees. This, I'm thinking of in relation to one's inner, natural structure. 

Our conversation always means so much to me, but this one struck a few cords that I want to thank you for. 

Congratulations on your soap sculpture Tereza.

I'm trying to land 

trying to understand the implications of what I've just learned.

It's not as hard as I thought.

Things are softening

xo

A

Grandma and Grandpa travel to Washington

These two soap carvings are on their way to a show in WA! They will be at; Tieton Arts and Humanities for those of you that are in the area. Address: Paper Hammer Studio 613 Elm Street Tieton, WA 98947 Opening Reception: Saturday, August 10, 2013, 12 - 5 p.m. Show ends on October 9, 2013.

(They rarely wanted to live side-by-side and so it goes here with these images.)

Artist and Baby Coexistance

With the due-date roughly five weeks away, I lay awake in the middle of the night thinking of this list and how to both stay skin to skin nursing/baby care-taking as well as functioning as my artist self.

start with the day with ICHING

Art supplies AT HAND:

sketchbook

watercolors

paintbrushes

plastic cup for water

writing tools

pre-cut paper

clipboard

tape

books/images/text

camera/tripod

(laptop)

CONCEPTS:

connecting to the present moment

(nursing paintings)

connecting to images at hand or philosophy

(pick books night before)

Necessities:

large water bottle

snacks

Baby supplies:

chinese potty

cotton baby cloth

baby blankets

sling